A word of warning to all baby-gift buyers: don’t buy just one blankie. Play it safe and buy at least three. If you have never had a baby, you may not understand how critical this advice is…but experienced parents everywhere are nodding their heads in agreement.

You will never be able to predict which of your young child’s possessions will become their most beloved. But often, it’s one of the receiving blankets that you were given when they were born. During the first few months of their lives, babies are wrapped in these blankets for warmth and security. But somewhere along the line, they become something more than just practical pieces of cloth.

The attachment will probably not become evident until your child is old enough to talk…one day they will start demanding that the blankie accompany them on every outing, and balk when you try to sneak it into the wash. Naps and bedtime will become impossible if the blanket is not available.

By the time we discovered that my daughter’s soft and worn pale pink blanket had become her most precious possession, it was no longer possible to find an exact duplicate. We had to settle first for an almost-identical blanket, and then later for a blanket that was much less than identical. In her eyes, the two replacements never quite measured up to the original, but they served as stand-ins for laundry time or when the original was temporarily lost.

Don’t think that you will be able to reason with your child if his coveted blanket is permanently damaged or lost. There is no reasoning with a toddler. And don’t expect your child to be responsible for the care and keeping of their blanket, because babies don’t understand cause and effect. If they teeth on the blanket until it is threadbare, or toss it under a restaurant high chair to be left behind, they will not appreciate that you cannot make it reappear.

One night, our toddler daughter threw her precious pink blanket into the fountain at a restaurant. Though not lost, the blanket was soggy, cold and dirty – not the kind of thing you want your child to snuggle with – but we didn’t have an extra blanket with us, and exposing her to a wet cloth that had been rinsed out under a bathroom faucet seemed better than listening to a toddler sob through dinner. After several close calls, our family mantra became “Do we have the blankie?” We learned to carry a spare when we traveled, just in case some tragic accident befell the original.

Take it from someone who learned the hard way - buy blankets in multiples and explain to new parents that they need to rotate the blankets frequently, so that they are never too dissimilar. It could save them a lot of grief in the long run.

Contributed by Laura Weaver

This will be my first Mother’s Day in 21 years without any children at home. When my youngest left for college in August, my friends and family predicted that I would suffer from what is commonly known as the “Empty Nest Syndrome” – the sadness and loss of purpose that sometimes hits parents when their children leave home. They suggested books that might help me cope; they offered their shoulders to cry on.
But rather than feeling depressed or lost, I found a new sense of freedom when my chicks left the coop. Does it make me sound like a bad mother when I admit that I am reveling in my new-found independence? I like not having to share my car. It is satisfying to cook something for dinner and not hear any complaints. Suddenly, my husband and I can go out whenever we like. We can go to sleep without listening to a movie blaring from the family room upstairs or without wondering if everyone will make it home before their curfews.
Despite all of that, I do miss the kids sometimes. I miss the crazy pace and the constant activity that comes with teenagers. I miss hearing the details of their days, their friendships, their challenges.
With the kids gone, I worry less. Not because there is less to worry about, but because I am less involved. Now, when worry comes, it comes like a missile – out of the blue – and hits without giving me time to brace myself. I can be running errands or on the tennis court. It may be a beautiful sunny day, or a peaceful evening. It is during these placid moments, when everything seems to be going right, that I will get a phone call.
“Mom,” a frail voice says, “I am really sick.” These phone calls generally come from my oldest child, who, at 21, still needs mothering sometimes. He will go on to explain that he has been violently ill and feverish for many hours and, in fact, has been so sick that he was unable to call sooner, unable crawl to a neighbor’s apartment for help. For me, this is the worst part of being any empty-nester. It is excruciating to know that your child needs you and that you are too far away to help.
One morning, I turned on my cell phone and saw that I had a new voicemail message from my son. He had left the message in the middle of the night, not wanting to wake us up by calling on the house phone. “Um,” his message begins in a very shaky way, “I just swerved to miss hitting a deer in the road and my car is in the ditch and I think I’m okay, and the deer is okay, but I am not sure about my car.” He sounds anything but okay. He goes on to explain that he is going to try to get his car out of the ditch and may call again.
That was the first of three messages. In the second call, his voice sounds a little stronger and he tells me that his car is out of the ditch and appears to be undamaged and that he is going to try to drive the rest of the way home. In his third message, he sounds relieved and exhausted as he tells me that he has finally, safely, arrived at his apartment. I can hardly dial the phone fast enough. Even after hearing that last message, I must speak to him immediately. I must know that he is really safe. More than anything, I want to hug him…but I can’t.
Now I understand why my father, at 78, still worries. He gives advice about which cars I should buy; expresses concern if I am in the house alone at night. You never grow out of being a parent. There are no children living in my house right now – but that doesn’t mean that I have stopped being a mother.

Contributed By Laura Weaver

Chocolate Gift Basket A chocolate lover's dream come true! It's all here in this sweet selection of dreamy chocolate treats.

Gourmet Gift Basket This magnificent gift basket is abundantly filled with many savories and confections. This basket will definitely leave them with a lasting impression.

Quote:

"What's the proper etiquette for office donations such as chipping in on a baby gift or wedding gift for a co-worker? Should a dollar amount be set for contributions, or should it be left to each individual to decide how much to give? We just took up a collection for a co-worker whose house was lost in a fire. The office manager refused to accept checks, insisting on cash so the gifts would remain anonymous. Some people gave hundreds of dollars, others tens of dollars. Can you help with some guidelines here?"

E.S., Churchville, Pa.

Office giving is one of the most vexing problems we hear about. People want the opportunity to give, but they don't want to feel they have to give. While small offices might have just a few donation requests a year, people working in a large office may get hit up multiple times in a single week. In this case, saying ''no" is difficult, but shelling out for every request could break your bank.

People should never "make the rounds" of all the desks, asking each co-worker for a donation. Besides being a time waster, this creates stress for people who don't want to give, a consequence managers should want to avoid. The better solution is to have a bulletin board where employees can post information about solicitations.

People interested in contributing can then visit the solicitor to make a donation. Since this is a donation, givers should offer whatever they feel they can afford, and the solicitor should be appreciative of all gifts, regardless of amount.

It was a kind gesture to take up a collection for your co-worker whose home was lost. However, your office manager should not have refused to accept checks. Instead, he or she should have welcomed all donations, then taken the funds to a bank and had the bank issue a single check to your colleague.

Quote:
"My boss is the senior vice president of public affairs for our company. Because of his position, he and his wife are asked to host numerous evening functions. His wife is heading out of town for a time and will miss some of these functions. Is it appropriate for him to go to them alone? Also, does it matter whether the situation is business attire or a black tie event?"

K.L., Shawnee Mission, Kan.

It is acceptable and appropriate for your boss to attend business functions without his wife. The formality of the event doesn't matter. In fact, in many corporate settings, spouses and dates are not invited to evening functions simply to allow more business associates to be included on the guest list.

E-mail your questions about business etiquette to bizmanners@globe.com; fax to 617-929-3183; or mail to Etiquette at Work, The Boston Globe, P.O. Box 55819, Boston, MA 02205-5819. Each month one reader whose question is published will be chosen at random to receive a copy of Peggy and Peter Post's book, "The Etiquette Advantage in Business." Peter Post is a director at the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt.

Life in the 20th century is definitely stressful. In many households, parents balance work with family activities and the children?s schedules. Work, school, financial worries and relationships are just a few common sources of stress that patients report when they come to my office for treatment. There are several ways to manage stress, but my favorite is laughter.

Not just funny busines

In addition to the joy of having a good laugh, there are several health benefits attributed to laughter. Laughter is believed to improve immune function, increase pain tolerance, decrease the stress response and it may be good for the heart. A recent survey of rural Midwestern cancer patients revealed that humor was one of the most frequently used complementary therapies. Of 105 women diagnosed with breast cancer, 21% used humor or laughter therapy as a way to reduce stress.

Laughter, stress and the immune system

Researchers in the field of mind-nerve-immune medicine (psychoneuroimmunology) suggest that laughter not only has psychological benefits, but it also has a positive physiological effect on the immune system. A study was conducted on 33 healthy women to determine the effect of laughter on self-reported stress and natural killer cell activity. Natural killer cells are a type of white blood cell that plays an important role in the body?s immune system. Low natural killer cell activity is linked to decreased disease resistance and increased morbidity in persons with cancer and HIV.

In this study, one group of subjects viewed a humorous video while another group of subjects (control group) viewed a tourism video. All subjects were then tested using a Stress Arousal Check List, a Humor Response Scale and an assay to assess immune function. The researchers observed that stress decreased for subjects in the humor group compared with those in the control group. They also observed that subjects in the control group had increased immune function and higher natural killer cell activity. The researchers concluded that laughter reduces stress and improves natural cell activity.

Stress Relief

Stress has been shown to depress the immune system and laughter may be a way of alleviating some of the burden of chronic stress. For more information of stress management, complete the Truestar Vitamins Profile and choose our Stress Plan. Supplements such as ashwaghanda and relora have been shown to offset some of the negative effects of stress on your body.

Better Health For Mommy And Baby

One doctor calls it a side effect of the nation's obesity problem.

Women thinking just because they're pregnant, they can eat anything and everything they want. Nine months later, they've got a big baby in their arms and a big weight problem on their hands.

Expecting her second child, Mount Carmel mom Ashley Kanipe is determined not to make the same mistake she did with her first pregnancy.

Kanipe, an expecting mother, says proper eating habits weren't an issue for her.

"I just ate whatever I wanted really. I just never really felt full, so i just kept eating, but I didn't realize I was gaining so much weight," says Kanipe.

She ended up adding 60-pounds to her small frame. Twenty of it was still there almost a year after Tye was born.

The Institute of Medicine says ideally, you should only gain 25- to 35-pounds if your weight is normal, 28- to 40-pounds if you're underweight.

If you're overweight, you shouldn't go over 25-pounds and if you're obese, 15-pounds is the mandate.

Experts say you really only need 100-extra calories a day during your first trimester, 300 for the remainder of your pregnancy which is the equivalent of these two snack packs.

Angel Crutcher, M.D. Ob-Gyn, says, "If you can eat healthy, those 300 calories can go a long way, but if you try to eat junk food, you're going to probably eat a lot more calories and gain a lot more weigh than you should."

Tipping the scales leads to gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and increased risk of having a c-section.

A study last year shows the babies born to overweight mothers are more likely to have cardiac or other birth defects.

Doctor crutcher urges her patients to exercise during pregnancy and try to resist cravings, which she knows first hand is easier said than done. She just gave birth ten months ago to her first child cameron.

Dr. Crutcher says, "I delivered early at 33 weeks, but by then I had already gained 30 pounds, so I was kind of close to my maximum already. It is hard to do."

"I'm not a good role model for my patients, I guess," says Crutcher.

Crutcher says one way to speed weight loss after delivery is breast feeding. It burns an extra 300 to 500 calories more a day.

How long should it take to lose the weight after the baby is born? Doctor Crutcher says it takes nine-months to put the weight on, so it's alright if it takes nine months to lose it.

But if it stays on up to a year, it's not going anywhere, and you're going to have to diet.