Quote:

"What's the proper etiquette for office donations such as chipping in on a baby gift or wedding gift for a co-worker? Should a dollar amount be set for contributions, or should it be left to each individual to decide how much to give? We just took up a collection for a co-worker whose house was lost in a fire. The office manager refused to accept checks, insisting on cash so the gifts would remain anonymous. Some people gave hundreds of dollars, others tens of dollars. Can you help with some guidelines here?"

E.S., Churchville, Pa.

Office giving is one of the most vexing problems we hear about. People want the opportunity to give, but they don't want to feel they have to give. While small offices might have just a few donation requests a year, people working in a large office may get hit up multiple times in a single week. In this case, saying ''no" is difficult, but shelling out for every request could break your bank.

People should never "make the rounds" of all the desks, asking each co-worker for a donation. Besides being a time waster, this creates stress for people who don't want to give, a consequence managers should want to avoid. The better solution is to have a bulletin board where employees can post information about solicitations.

People interested in contributing can then visit the solicitor to make a donation. Since this is a donation, givers should offer whatever they feel they can afford, and the solicitor should be appreciative of all gifts, regardless of amount.

It was a kind gesture to take up a collection for your co-worker whose home was lost. However, your office manager should not have refused to accept checks. Instead, he or she should have welcomed all donations, then taken the funds to a bank and had the bank issue a single check to your colleague.

Quote:
"My boss is the senior vice president of public affairs for our company. Because of his position, he and his wife are asked to host numerous evening functions. His wife is heading out of town for a time and will miss some of these functions. Is it appropriate for him to go to them alone? Also, does it matter whether the situation is business attire or a black tie event?"

K.L., Shawnee Mission, Kan.

It is acceptable and appropriate for your boss to attend business functions without his wife. The formality of the event doesn't matter. In fact, in many corporate settings, spouses and dates are not invited to evening functions simply to allow more business associates to be included on the guest list.

E-mail your questions about business etiquette to bizmanners@globe.com; fax to 617-929-3183; or mail to Etiquette at Work, The Boston Globe, P.O. Box 55819, Boston, MA 02205-5819. Each month one reader whose question is published will be chosen at random to receive a copy of Peggy and Peter Post's book, "The Etiquette Advantage in Business." Peter Post is a director at the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt.